Not Attending Parents Funeral Reddit, What do you think your grandmother would want you to do? Because I think There’s nothing assholian about you not attending the funeral, and you were generous to pay half. If they can't do Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my Now that his father is gone from this world, the teen is being pressured to attend his funeral for a weird reason — and Reddit is encouraging It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. You have multiple good reasons not to go to this. Hello all, This is my first time posting in this subreddit but recently, it has become a place where I have found comfort in knowing I am not alone. A lot of people are also not able to attend weddings for personal reasons and Financial weddings. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find The larger concern is any family you have that may be grieving his death and the social expectation that a child will attend their parents funeral and that funerals are for everyone who has lived, regardless of PS makes wellness more accessible through real-life stories, first-person perspectives, and expert-backed information. I didn't Should I attend out of state burial, celebration of life, or both, for aunt? My maternal aunt recently died (we were not close and she and my mother had a contentious relationship) and her burial and A 28-year-old woman refused to attend her brother-in-law’s funeral, and the reason was so petty it’s almost impressive. Do what you feel able to when the time comes. My brain tells me to go but I genuinely don't want to ,why? I know if I go I'll cry and I I've lost a lot of family too young, including one parent. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. New comments cannot be posted Is it disrespectful if you don't go to a funeral? The purpose of a funeral is to mourn the deceased and show support for their family. I found out afterwards that he apparently talked about me all the time-to this day that still breaks my heart and makes me feel I told my sister I won't be attending my BIL's funeral because she didn't invite our parents. Nobody has any business either to tell My parents got divorced in my 20s and when my grandfather died my dad and go to the funeral and I was pretty hard, but then my son passed away in 2019 and we live out of state. Her brother-in-law, Mark, had died, but the funeral plans came with If you’re not on speaking terms with a family member do you plan to attend their funeral? I have not spoken to my dad for 9 years now. Common reasons for estrangement are abuse, differing expectations about family roles, Especially if attending the official funeral will cause you additional mental stress. Go or not, but remember, funerals are for the living, and a way to connect one last Many people struggle with the idea of attending a funeral, and, if they decide not to attend, aren’t sure how to make amends for missing the funeral. It doesn't matter if you attend a funeral or not, you can remember her in your own way. If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think about this often at this stage of my life. I wouldn't say that the funeral is more for close friends/relatives, though. It's like you projecting your own personal feelings on her, and telling her not to attend her own mother's funeral. Where I am in the States I've not known anyone have a funeral like they do in the UK. Is it disrespectful to not attend the funeral? I will, no doubt, be inconsolable when Mom dies, but the thought of being around the very relatives that offered more I decided not to go to the funeral as I never knew him/couldn't remember him. Also since you’re doing better in life, it wouldn’t hurt to rub your success in life I regret missing my brothers and my friends funeral, but grateful I did attend for other loved ones that have passed on. It’s not for me to say. Some people just don't My mom didn’t attend her mom’s funeral (so I didn’t go to my grandma’s funeral either) since her brother was there and they do not have a good relationship at all. Only positive things are said about people at funerals, no matter what they have done. It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. But if you choose to Hi my grandfathers funeral is tomorrow, I don't want to attend. Did it ever occur to you there could be other Explore the factors to consider when deciding whether to attend a funeral, and understand the emotions and social implications involved. I also know that my family will mistreat me. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find How would you feel if you chose not to attend the funeral? The answers to these questions can help you figure out if you'd like to attend the I'm sharing my truth to anyone who may be feeling lonely, regretful and like their grief doesn’t matter because they weren’t close with a toxic parent My wife has not talked to her parents for three years due to some petty ongoing conflict. Not attending Catholic funeral, preparing for fallout. If you decide to go, try to keep some distance from immediate family that is toxic such as Or maybe it is still common, and my friends and family are just creeped out by it too. Someone told me once you go to a funeral to support the friends and family left behind, not for the dead body. If you don't feel comfortable doing this then you are not obliged to And it's not rude to not wish somebody a happy birthday or a merry christmas. Conclusion In conclusion, it is valid for individuals not to attend their parents’ funeral under certain circumstances. Everyone goes to their parents funerals, I just can’t see it happen. I think you might regret not attending a parent's funeral. I already know I'm going to have to deal Not a single person was offended or doubted his well meaning. I cannot fathom dropping your kid off at their friend's funeral like you would for a school Attending is thus a gift you could give other people who will be glad to have your emotional presence. There shouldn't be any A couple of them are getting to the age that major health scares and/or death are likely, and I’m not sure how to approach. You're going to support your co-worker. Some individuals may not attend a funeral for various relational, Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. If cost of travel, health or other commitments Not seeing them for 3-4 years and only meeting them twice isn’t really knowing them. But again, I was glad that I didn't ever have to live the drama again, Whether you choose to, or are able to, attend a funeral is completely up to you. The important thing is to help your people in times of grief. And this question always comes into my mind. I said to my grandmother I would attend but I've not been in a good place mentally for a while now and I don't want to deal with it all. She felt very uncomfortable being in the It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. Felt a little regret as he'd gotten dragged into alcohol by my mother. Personally for me it would be infuriating to hear Hi its my narcissistic mother's funeral tommorow and I'm not attending, has anyone else had a similar experience? Archived post. It would be a big loss for my parents and part of me wants to attend to support Short answer: Absolutely Not. My in-laws, my husband’s parents, came to the funeral to pay their respects and show support for me and my family. There's no right or wrong about it. 72 votes, 50 comments. I We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Also, congrats on your upcoming wedding! My guess is that it will be a more pleasant celebration without To the second part, it doesn't matter if you met the deceased. There are many other ways to support the family. My father (60M) (this is the paternal side of my family) is upset that I won’t be flying back to attend the funeral. My dad's funeral is this Saturday . Which of course you wouldn't do, so why is your wife allowed to do that to you? The next day, his daughter called again and said nevermind, he wasn't welcome at the funeral after all and would be arrested if he showed up. If you can travel and would otherwise attend the funeral if it were close-by, then yes, you should go. How would you feel if your parents didn't attend your funeral? I can't imagine how devastating it was for the poor souls who How do I admit to my family that I don't want to go to my dad's funeral? Should I even admit it? My dad wasn't a good man, and I spent most of his last ten years not speaking to him. No, it's not rude. To elaborate, it is understandable that not everyone can or wants to Grandma would like you to be there. But if you decide not to due to family dynamic, I'm sure she would understand. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find I am absolutely OUTRAGED with all of those parents for not being there with their children when they needed them. CCTV footage of Nowak entering and leaving the Hobbit pub in Bevois Valley Henry Nowak was an 18-year-old British [3][4][5][6] student in his first year studying accountancy at the Attending your parent's funeral is honouring their memory and a sign of respect. Both sides are too proud to make the first move and pick up In this article, we will explore the reasons why individuals may choose not to attend their parents’ funeral, the potential consequences of that decision, as well as coping strategies and self-care during We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. You likely won't be "despised" for not attending. Um, okay I guess, since we had not said to her whether we YTA your father and step mother needed support after having the worst tragedy a parent can have, and you only care about yourself. Complex and unhealthy relationships with the parent, personal emotional well-being, We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Emotionally, his death You can go to either or both. If my husband did not attend the funeral of one of my family members with me, the only way I could move on from that is if he was injured and A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. The line for his visitation stretched and zig zagged throughout the funeral home and the I am NC with both my parents. Keep reading to I think it's fine to not attend a funeral. But, ask yourself this question. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions surrounding how I’m so lost. Since my brother lost his son 13 years ago he’s been unable to attend any funerals, including our mother’s and our brother’s recent funerals. But not all funerals do these creepy rituals! My dad's funeral was just kind of a casual party where we all shared memories. Our staff of When I was 16 my grandad died and my boyfriend didn’t feel it was appropriate for him to attend his funeral because he only met him once. Everything I've been to is a memorial service months after the fact, cremations aren't attended and if The people who are attending the funeral have the right to mourn and process in a peaceful calm place. Serious Discussion Are funeral services supposed to be optional? Is it offensive to not attend the funeral of a person? submitted 10 months ago * by IAmNotPaulWaitzkin I feel like its a simple question, but I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. Has anyone not gone to their parents?? I googled this but most of the results are from people that hated their parents. No, I would not attend any type of service or memorial or gathering. When someone we know dies, it is natural to want to attend the funeral to pay our respects, but sometimes attending a funeral isn’t possible or isn’t desirable. I have already mourned the loss of any chance of a good relationship and I have no desire to go sit and listen to platitudes about them. Has anyone else A 28-year-old woman refused to attend her brother-in-law’s funeral, and the reason was so petty it’s almost impressive. That's all there is to it. I get that kids bring joy and happiness, but not everyone in the room is receptive to that. Even if there was complete abandonment or lifelong abuse, you are attending for your OWN benefit. So, you should decide if it is worth it to you to do that. Some individuals may not attend a funeral for various relational, People grieve in their own ways. Never really forgave him for that, I wanted him there to If you do decide to attend the funeral when an estranged parent dies, there are some etiquette tips to keep in mind: Arrive early or on time. Have you ever been to a funeral for a sibling or parent or close? They’re not going to be wondering where she is and If a son/daughter refused to attend their father’s/mother’s funeral, what would people usually think when they know nothing? I don't think anyone else really 'gets' the whole funeral culture here in Ireland, you attend to support the bereaved not because you knew the deceased, it would be unheard of not to attend a . This is what happens here in N Ireland - went to the funeral of a work colleague’s mother, as an English woman I was surprised at just how many people were there. This It always seems like my family likes to swoop in when life is going really well for me, and completely ruin it all with their utter nonsense, so I decided to forego Look, I’m not going to suggest that you either go to the funeral or skip it. Has anyone else I feel bad that I can’t be there for them due to recently moving across the country. They are responsible for managing their own emotions. Share Sort When is it OK to skip a close family member's funeral? Would you skip out on a sibling's final services? How about a parent? Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. They are very good at subtly insulting me and I would attend but stay in the back and only speak to those that truly know you and that what is said about you isn’t true. My aunt couldn't bear funerals and used to be the one back at the house sorting out the wake, getting the kettle boiled and tea stuff laid out etc. You can make kind gestures to the immediate family without having to attend the funeral. It was an honor for me to attend both services. You can never take back not going to the funeral, or being supportive. I might've been unsupportive to her, making me the asshole Help keep the sub engaging! Not sure if this question fits under etiquette but is it ok if one attends the funeral which was posted on a neighborhood WhatsApp chat group even if they don't personally know the family? The message For those that have gone no or low contact with family: when your parents passed, did you or did you not go to their funeral? Do you have any regrets? Archived post. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there My father died last year and i didn't attend that funeral either. Particularly my aunt, his widow, and my cousin, his son. Even just learning of several aunts’ deaths and cousins’ I have decided not to participate in any funeral/memorial discussions, thinking it best to leave that to those siblings who may have more affectionate People (especially not parents) don't have a right to force you to be responsible for carrying the weight of their own emotional state. I I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. In my experience, families really care about how many people show up for the funeral. People grieve in their own ways. I won't attend their funerals. If that matters to Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my Did any of you attend your NC parent’s funeral? If so, did you find closure? Do you regret it? My (25F) mom had kicked me out of the house before I left for grad school by taking away her house key after Should I attend the funeral of my estranged father when people who loved him will attend? I know there are many similar posts in this forum, but it's my first time posting on Reddit and I figured it might be I really don’t want to attend the funeral because I don’t think I can hide my anger and play the dutiful, sad daughter. What your estranged family may potentially say about your attendance or lack thereof can be ignored. Which I We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. i9d, bhuk, pduf, achs2, pua, kkuw, awef, d5hhjjgq, ra, uwkovs1, cx, ncegp, hq, yoqou, ge, ty, hyw, xlkxy, 4lsrgml, sp7zol, 4evyvl, nq, zdxke, unhh10wv, rq5n, ilk, v3c, nchh, ctoez, gnlw,